When i listened to my gut and lived to tell the tale!

I am glad I did it. I chose to jump out of a “shared auto” in Varanasi. I listened to my gut. And I live to tell the tale.

If you have ever ignored that inner voice, if you have ever faced dire situations because of it, if you are a woman and you travel frequently, if you have a woman in your life and she travels alone at times…read on.

No this is not a “story’. It is an incident that happened to me. I didn’t know it then. I didn’t think. I didn’t understand. Today I think differently because I saw a movie and realised that that was the same situation, I was in. And if it weren’t for my mother’s prayers and the God, I believe in, watching over me, my story would have been very different today.

I watched the Tamil movie ‘Sinam’ on Netflix (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinam_(2022_film)), several months after this incident – sometime in December 2022. The movie in itself is nothing much to write home about. It only has an IMDB rating of 5.1. But that wasn’t the point. The point was an incident and the understanding that fell into place when I saw it.

So, I had to travel to Varanasi on work in July of 2022. I went about my work. I had work through the day. Work was hectic. I had travelled to Varanasi several times earlier on work. So, it wasn’t the first time I was there. And the times I was there never had I taken out the time to explore the city except for once when I took a cycle rickshaw ride to the ghats and managed to just soak it in for a bit.

So, this time I had decided that I should visit Kashi Vishwanath temple and the Dashashwamedh Ghat for the Ganga aarti.

On one of the days I was there, I finished up my work early and took an auto to the Dashashwamedh Ghat. I had already visited the Kashi Vishwanath temple the previous day. Hence, I was a bit familiar. One takes an auto and then one needs to get off at a certain point and then take a cycle rickshaw to closer the ghats. I did all of that. (On a side note – the crowd was insane. Seriously, we need to start exporting people…we just have too many here! It is a sea of humanity. And somehow, we manage to not just survive, but also thrive in this environment).

Anyways the city was a whole lot cleaner than the last time I was there. So that was great. I managed to get close to the Ganga Aarti. It is an experience. Once I had enough, I decided to get some local food and then decided to head back. By this time, it was about 9.30 pm. For a biker, for a ROTNer (https://www.facebook.com/rotnbangalore/) being out at this time is not unusual. I usually take precautions – and honestly nothing you can carry on you can protect you as much as an alert mind – you will understand as you read on.

Given the ridiculous masses of humanity getting an Auto or a Cycle rickshaw wasn’t exactly “easy”. I decided to then walk till I could find a transport that will take me back to my Hotel – which was a little removed from this area of the city. Enroute and not too far from the Ghat I was fortunate to find an empty auto. This was one of the bigger autos – which is a “shared” auto. But he didn’t have anybody in it. So, I asked him if he will take me to the hotel and he said yes. He quoted a weird price, but I wasn’t going to argue at that time of the night and alone in a City that I didn’t belong to. So, I agreed and hopped on. In about 20 meters, he turns and asks if I will be ok taking on other passengers. 

Now I had seen several women, children and older people walking and trying to get themselves a transport. Hence, I agreed. And in another 100 meters or so a man gets into the auto. Now when I had agreed to taking in people, I thought well it would be the women and children and older folk. Not a strapping young man in his 20’s. So the weird thing was that this man didn’t really say where he wanted to go. He just jumped in and the auto driver just went with the flow. Now in itself it is not a big deal. (I hadn’t watched the movie, as yet, remember). So, this man who had jumped in sits right next to me. Now please understand this is a big auto – it can seat about 6 people on either side, comfortably and tons more like they usually do! But this guy didn’t exactly maintain decorum by sitting on the other side when it was empty but chose to sit right next to me. This made me uncomfortable and I told him “bhai saab aap uss taraf ho jaiye”(Dear brother please move to the other side of the auto). I had authority – because I was paying full price for the auto to take me to my destination…so in essence I had hired the entire auto. So, I knew I could say this. He made a face. But obliged. However, 7-8 minutes into the ride he switches back right next to me. Now this is making me very uncomfortable. By then we were progressing through more deserted, poorly lit roads. (Yes, even with the sea of humanity in Varanasi, it has quiet a few stretches of almost empty roads especially at 10 in the night).

Now the moment he did this I stewed for a bit. Then something told me to take a look at the map – we were way off track. We weren’t on the road the map told me to be on. I asked the Auto driver. He told me “madam road aage se band hain, tho hum uss taraf nahin jaa sakthe”, (the road is closed, and we cannot go that way). Now the alarm bells in my head are not just ringing they are banging. We pulled up near a traffic signal and the auto just slowed down as the signal was turning. I said “bhaiya hum aage nahin jayenge” and got off even while the auto was moving. I was prepared in my head to do some rolling stunts in the middle of the road! No kidding. I mean it. Desperation you know can make you do strange things!

Anyways so I got off and offered to pay the auto guy, but he refused and just literally fled from there – through all this the auto has not come to a full stop.

Thankfully I got another auto guy a little away and he was like “madam aap iss taraf kyon jaa rahen the.” So then it was clear to me that my decision to jump off was a good one. But this guy was decent. He took me straight to my hotel. I thanked him profusely, because he had no clue of what I had just gone through. Made it back to my hotel room, got dinner and passed off and never thought about it again.

 

Until I saw the movie.

That is when it fell on me like tons of bricks. Damn. That could have been me. Maybe it could have been a simple robbery, maybe it could have been more. I don’t know.

See in the movie this happens to a police man’s wife. She goes out and takes a shared auto back to her house in the night. She speaks to her cop husband before she gets in to the auto. But along the way the rest of the gang of which the driver is also a part of gets into the auto, drives the lady to a deserted spot, rapes and murders her. This wasn’t a pre-planned crime. But something this gang of boys did for the sake of “pleasure”. Often.

I am glad and ever so grateful that my mothers’ prayers and my Lord’s presence did not make me another statistic. And I am so grateful that I know how to listen to my gut.

If you don’t, do it now. Learn to trust your inner voice. There are tons of clues that our super sharp brains of which we really haven’t harnessed the power, understands and observes. So, when it tells us to do something. Trust it. And stay sharp and alert. Put that mobile away. You can chat, call, check message, yada yada if you are still alive – later. Trust me. Stay safe.