I am sharing this story here because I think it is relevant to us as human beings – how we treat each other – husband treats wife, wife treats husband, mother treats her father/mother, father treats his…etc. while we are all aware and most often than not, know how to behave in public places and with people in a social setting – how we treat the intimate relationships in our lives – is something that we sometimes forget to pay heed to. I am sharing a case here because it really rattled me and I thought it is imperative that I share it.
Most people do not understand the repercussions of seemingly innocuous actions – I had a counselee crying her eyes out - cause her son who is 15 years old was touching her inappropriately. He wakes up in the night and goes to her bedroom where she sleeps with her husband and child and touches her. Happened on a couple of occasions till they realized that he needs help.
She was in tears; the father was livid and would beat him.
And then, through the course of the session, I figured that the father would routinely abuse the wife – not physically, but verbally and the child never learnt to respect his own mother.
Now they are struggling with teaching the child “respect” …after he has grown up seeing his mother being treated as an object…how? And if he sees his mother as a mere sexual object – how will his worldview be of other women?
There is a growing population of single women – why?
It is high time that as a society we correct the wrongs that we didn’t know we did.
Cause now we know better.
Please be very careful about how you treat each other – no matter what the occasion or the reason. It is not ok to shout or scream at each other, abuse in any form is not ok – be it taking it or giving it. It is not what we say – it is how we say it – the tone, the body language – it all adds up.
Speak up if you are being abused, speak up if you see abuse.
Deepti Jacob (DJ)
Chief Psychologist
Sitara: Center for emotional counselling
